I don’t really have that much to report today. Today has actually been a pretty ‘normal’ day.
I met Cliff for lunch and had some very honest and real conversations with him. We met in a pub but I felt fine and had no compulsion for alcohol whatsoever. I was also able to simply admire the ladies that were present for what they were, without obsessing or fantasising over any of them. It was a beautiful day and I remained present throughout lunch. I enjoyed the warm sunshine, the nice food, the lovely view of the river and the trees and engaged Cliff in interesting and personal conversation.
We then went for a walk and continued our conversations. It was really nice to be able to talk to someone outside of SAA or AA about things associated with the mind. It was like validating theories with someone. It felt like Cliff understood what I was talking about and made me feel normal about all the things that I would usually keep to myself, for fear of sounding a little crazy.
I also had a call from Tom today. Whilst I’ve been concerned about him for the last couple of weeks, I was actually pleasantly surprised to discover that he seemed to have taken a big step forward. Although he is planning on not attending meetings for a while, I agreed with his rationale and felt that his level of awareness had significantly increased.
I starting to believe that awareness is the highest form of intelligence.
I had a call with Stuart later in the day and it was nice to catch up with him too, but apart from that, that’s about it really.
Oh, one thing of note. I made the effort to actually wash my car myself this evening. I accepted that it didn’t need to be perfect and that I was literally just going to give it a quick wash. I didn’t need to fix and blemishes to the paintwork, polish the windows, wax the bodywork, hoover the inside etc. etc. etc. I just simply washed the car and I enjoyed doing it. That, for me, was a sign of progress today 🙂