Journal Entry: Wednesday 09 December 2015

Today was day two of my Reiki 1 training and my second attunement, which is all awesome, but I must go back to earlier on today and explain the unfoldingness of events today.

For one reason and another I have been feeling a little depleted over the last few days, maybe even the last couple of weeks and today was no different.

I Reiki’d myself to sleep last night, which was a very pleasant experience and every time I woke up I Reiki’d myself back to sleep, but I woke up in the same mindset again today, feeling the same physical sensations of pain and suffering that tells me something is not right inside/outside.

I spoke to a dear friend at about midday and he was able to give me some hugely insightful wisdom into communication techniques, which open up a new set of mental constructs for me and allow me to see further down the multiple destinies that I am currently grappling with. Once the conversation finished, I was aware that things were still not right, so I took myself off to meditate.

After I had meditated I was in a serene place, so my intention then turn to Reiki. I decided to spend the rest of the day giving myself Reiki.

Somewhere between 3-4 hours later I was back to feeling on top of the world again. I am full of energy, I feel positive, confident, full of vitality, alert, aware, focussed, calm, peaceful… the list goes on. Needless to say this is me feeling back to my old, new self again and I can only put this down to the practice of mindfulness, meditation and the healing power of Reiki.

I played about with 3 focal points during the afternoon Reiki’ing myself today. Firstly I focused on my stomach or the base, secral and solar plexus chakra – to build my internal fire. Secondly I moved to my chest or the heart chakra and then finally my head and the brow and crown chakra.

The stomach wasn’t really noticeable, but I focused intently on it for most of the time, as directed by my Master. I feel the reason that I did not notice much when attending to these chakra points was mainly due to the fire that already burns brightly within me. This was something that I achieve a few months ago and was reconfirmed during my recent fire walk training.

However, my heart chakra was very noticeable. I could literally feel the love filling my entire being to the point of bursting out of me as waves of light and energy. It was a marvellous feeling and one that I liken to how we feel when we are first infatuated with a new partner. It is an overwhelming sense of peace, harmony, love and well-being.

Then I moved to my head and this was also immediate in effect. When I meditate I see nothing. It is a very consistent experience. I literally witness the presence of nothing, which, in my humble opinion and that of his Holiness the Dalai Lama, is the truth of our very being and existence. When I channelled the Reiki towards my head, I literally became nothing. It was as if my mind shut down and went to sleep but my consciousness and my awareness of consciousness remained. It was a utopian or blissful state and one that I liken to my initial period/process of enlightenment.

All in all this meant that once I grounded myself I was as prepared for tonight’s second instalment of Reiki 1 teachings as I could possibly be, in this moment.

During tonight’s attunement, I was witness to a great ball of light above me that then transcended into and through my physical being.

I then realised that I was being shown a path or a tunnel made of light, with darkness or nothing at the end of it. The tunnel grew longer and longer until nothing became a mere pinprick in the distance of my minds eye. Then the focus moved and I left the tunnel and witness the universe surrounding me, around me and part of me.

What I took from this vision tonight was that I have found my way out of the darkness and have entered into a new realm of existence.

Do not get me wrong, the truth of the matter is still the same and this truth is that nothing is the answer to everything, but rather than see nothing I saw a path, one of many, in bright light. The beauty of the truth about nothing is that it allows us to understand everything.

5 months ago I found the answer and that answer was nothing, but nothing could not be seen because I was the something looking out at myself, nothing. I am now starting to see everything because I have discovered how to turn the light on. It is the age old paradox of existence.

We wonder for an eternity looking for something in the darkness, only to realise that what we are searching for is the very thing that is witnessing the darkness.

Once we find ourselves we must then master the art of illumination, not for our own benefit, but for the benefit of everyone else who is still looking for themselves.

I found the answer because I was taught, through meditation, where to look. I can tell you now that I know that the answer does not lie out there.

The truth lies within.

It is hidden within the lies that we tell ourselves but it is this truth that will ultimately set us all free.

May peace and love be with you, always.

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