Journal Entry: Sunday 20 December 2015

Today was my first Reiki share after my attunement about 10 days ago and it was once again a very special first time experience.

[As a recap – I will admit that certain negative aspects that surround me, have become overwhelming over recent months and have particularly taken me off message over the last few weeks.] It is for this reason that I am particularly grateful and thankful to have found my Reiki Master, to have the principles of Reiki shown and explained to me and to have become attuned to Reiki.

Today I awoke with some apprehension and doubt, as certain events were about to unfold and I was blinded to their outcome. I felt very low in energy, both physically, mentally and spiritually.

I arrived at the Reiki share and was met by 5 wonderful and loving people who were immediately accepting, respectful and understanding. 4 of which were total strangers, so it was a well needed reminder that kindness is never far away, but is sometimes lacking in the places that you expect to find it most. Once again reminding me that expectation is the road to all heartache.

So we all talked for a while and then began the Reiki share. As we took turns in sharing the Reiki I could feel my own energy levels rising. As we blessed each person, so I became more and more aware of my own spiritual blessing. I was being healed and it was happening through the process of me offering healing to others.

For me, giving is the new receiving and when I give all that I have to offer, I receive what I need back in abundance.

Then it was my turn. I was 5th out of the 6 of us. As my share began, lightning struck, followed by a loud clap of thunder.

When my share was over I received feedback that one person had sensed anger and another person had an over whelming sense of forgiveness. There was also a reoccurring voice saying ‘you are home | welcome home’.

My interpretation of this feedback is as follows. I am sat quietly and peaceful in the centre of a storm, hence the thunder and lightning. There is still an unspoken apology that must be made, but the person responsible will not allow communication to take place, so I must be patient. This unwillingness on the part of the third party, to communicate, brings about a sense of disappointment in me. Because I have left this disappointment unchecked for several weeks, this has slowly begun to manifest as inwardly facing anger, which has in turn started to feel like depressive illness. I am also surrounded by angry people who would wish to do me harm. This anger has been affecting my aura recently and is also another cause for me to begin sensing the effects of depressive illness.

By being made aware and accepting these things as true, I have immediately broken through the barrier of negativity that has slowly been surrounding me of recent days and weeks.

I am once again clear of the cause of this negativity and I am aware of what must be done to end its hold over me.

Some month back it was the truth that set me free. I must once again use the truth to help set another free and in doing so I will break a tie that has been holding two peoples together in secrecy for far too long.

Everything that I now do is motivated by the intention of loving kindness, but unfortunately, not everyone is ready to receive loving kindness and thus this is where the ‘being cruel to be kind’ saying comes from.

The world has become increasingly surrounded in a cloak of fear and this fear is slowly poisoning the minds of many ordinary and innocent people. Good people are turning bad because they are allowing fear and darkness to get the better of them.

My purpose is to help those who have fear to break through their fear and to welcome them back into the light. However, in order to do this, I must sometimes become the very thing that these people fear the most, darkness.

In my experience, people turn away from the light, if it is too blinding. In order to show people the path, you must first earn their trust by approaching them on their wavelength. If this means I must walk into darkness then so be it.

This is not an easy cross to bare, but it is my gift. I use it wisely and without fear, anger or hatred. I do what I do, simply because I can and because it is the right thing to do. I cannot defeat darkness with darkness, but I can illuminate the path and hope that others follow in the footsteps of love.

May peace and love be with you, always.

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