I woke up naturally at around 6am because I needed the toilet. I didn’t get back to sleep before my alarm went off at 7am, when I got up promptly, showered, ate breakfast and then drove to Hindhead to meet a couple of recovery buddies for a new years day walk around the Devils Punch Bowl. I really needed the fresh air and exercise.
Sadly after I’d been home for a couple of hours, eaten some food and had 2 more cups of coffee, I felt knackered and needed to have a little sleep.
I’ve then spent the rest of the day in my room watching DS9 and relaxing. I’ve felt rather tense over the last few days. Maybe it’s because I know I no longer have any excuses to not look for work full time and I’m a little anxious about getting my head down and stuck into a work routine again.
I’ve had to force myself to meditate this evening, so that I’ve actually done it for today and I didn’t really feel like writing this journal entry but I realise that it wouldn’t be much of a commitment to my new years resolutions if I gave up after 2 days and stopped on the first of January.
As of tomorrow I really need to lay off the caffeine and stop consuming sugar. I’m also half tempted to get back in touch with the psychiatrist and ask if I can try the anti-anxiety medication that he mentioned during my last consultation.
As for tomorrow, I’m going to commit to going running/jogging as soon as I wake up in the morning, before I eat breakfast. Then I can shower and eat once I get back. Hopefully a bit more daily exercise might be enough to get the blood flowing and to help me stay awake during the day.
I will also be good to resume my daily routine with PJ and start meeting up at the cafe to do recovery work/other work related items.
I know I’m manifesting my own reality, but I’m still struggling to make my reality worthwhile.