Today's medication: 50mg Sertraline / 5mg Aripiprazole I'm really struggling at the moment. I feel like I've lost the will to live. I'm back on the Aripiprazole everyday, which is helping with the anxiety, but it's also drained any enthusiasm I have for LiFE. I just don't want to do anything. The only reason I'm …
Today's medication: 50mg Sertraline / 5mg Aripiprazole I've been in freeze mode again today, almost completely consumed by fear and anxiety. I managed to meet up with a friend for a couple of hours for coffee, but couldn't really speak. I spent most of the time staring out of the window watching the rain come …
Having been on anti-depressant and anti-psychotic medication for a number of years now, I'm more convinced than ever that the benefits are in the placebo effect and not the chemistry of the medication.
I feel like I'm in a bit of a mini rut at the moment. My LiFE is very ordinary, by design, but that's got me feeling like I'm not fulfilling my potential. I feel like I'm wasting away and I don't know what to do about it...
When I feel tired I tend to use food to perk me up. What's been interesting today is that I've not wanted to eat carbs and have veered towards a more keto style diet. I've just accepted this is how I am and done the best that I can.
Developing the perspective of the observer, rather than getting dragged into a mental argument with myself, has been key in finding and maintaining "the gap". The gap is that space between EGO and CONSCiOUSNESS.
Fighting depression is insanity, because ultimately I am only ever fighting myself. I lost over and over again, until I learnt to surrender. When I stop fighting I can begin healing and that starts and ends with COMPASSiON.
I've learnt that you can't run from depression or anxiety. The answer is to stop and embrace your BEiNG with compassion and empathy.
It's probably around this point that my enthusiasm starts to wane, I begin to lose focus and then subconsciously start to self-sabotage, so it's interesting that I'm currently looking into why this happens. Hopefully recovery has given me enough courage and strength to persevere, which is what I need in order to make lasting changes and not give up.
I have a tendency to start off with a really small, simple concept that could be life changing for me and then I end up multiplying it to the point where I just get lost in the complexity and it stops me from achieving what I originally intended.