JOURNAL ENTRY: Friday 09 August 2019

Today's medication: 50mg Sertraline / 5mg Aripiprazole I'm really struggling at the moment. I feel like I've lost the will to live. I'm back on the Aripiprazole everyday, which is helping with the anxiety, but it's also drained any enthusiasm I have for LiFE. I just don't want to do anything. The only reason I'm …

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JOURNAL ENTRY: Tuesday 30 July 2019

Today's medication: 50mg Sertraline / 5mg Aripiprazole I've been in freeze mode again today, almost completely consumed by fear and anxiety. I managed to meet up with a friend for a couple of hours for coffee, but couldn't really speak. I spent most of the time staring out of the window watching the rain come …

JOURNAL ENTRY: Monday 01 July 2019

I feel like I'm in a bit of a mini rut at the moment. My LiFE is very ordinary, by design, but that's got me feeling like I'm not fulfilling my potential. I feel like I'm wasting away and I don't know what to do about it...

JOURNAL ENTRY: Wednesday 12 June 2019

When I feel tired I tend to use food to perk me up. What's been interesting today is that I've not wanted to eat carbs and have veered towards a more keto style diet. I've just accepted this is how I am and done the best that I can.

JOURNAL ENTRY: Tuesday 11 June 2019

Developing the perspective of the observer, rather than getting dragged into a mental argument with myself, has been key in finding and maintaining "the gap". The gap is that space between EGO and CONSCiOUSNESS.

JOURNAL ENTRY: Monday 10 June 2019

Fighting depression is insanity, because ultimately I am only ever fighting myself. I lost over and over again, until I learnt to surrender. When I stop fighting I can begin healing and that starts and ends with COMPASSiON.

JOURNAL ENTRY: Wednesday 29 May 2019

It's probably around this point that my enthusiasm starts to wane, I begin to lose focus and then subconsciously start to self-sabotage, so it's interesting that I'm currently looking into why this happens. Hopefully recovery has given me enough courage and strength to persevere, which is what I need in order to make lasting changes and not give up.

JOURNAL ENTRY: Monday 27 May 2019

I have a tendency to start off with a really small, simple concept that could be life changing for me and then I end up multiplying it to the point where I just get lost in the complexity and it stops me from achieving what I originally intended.