When I feel tired I tend to use food to perk me up. What's been interesting today is that I've not wanted to eat carbs and have veered towards a more keto style diet. I've just accepted this is how I am and done the best that I can.
Developing the perspective of the observer, rather than getting dragged into a mental argument with myself, has been key in finding and maintaining "the gap". The gap is that space between EGO and CONSCiOUSNESS.
Fighting depression is insanity, because ultimately I am only ever fighting myself. I lost over and over again, until I learnt to surrender. When I stop fighting I can begin healing and that starts and ends with COMPASSiON.
I've learnt that you can't run from depression or anxiety. The answer is to stop and embrace your BEiNG with compassion and empathy.
It's probably around this point that my enthusiasm starts to wane, I begin to lose focus and then subconsciously start to self-sabotage, so it's interesting that I'm currently looking into why this happens. Hopefully recovery has given me enough courage and strength to persevere, which is what I need in order to make lasting changes and not give up.
I have a tendency to start off with a really small, simple concept that could be life changing for me and then I end up multiplying it to the point where I just get lost in the complexity and it stops me from achieving what I originally intended.
The culmination of these evens was that I would develop CPTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and whilst I had always suffered from anxiety, this period would maximise that condition into hyper-anxiety or hyper-vigilance.
I think I'm upset that I'm struggling to LET GO of stuff.
I'm a little anxious about getting my head down and stuck into a work routine again.
When I have faith and trust in the universe, everything becomes that little bit easier.