JOURNAL ENTRY: Wednesday 12 June 2019

When I feel tired I tend to use food to perk me up. What's been interesting today is that I've not wanted to eat carbs and have veered towards a more keto style diet. I've just accepted this is how I am and done the best that I can.

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JOURNAL ENTRY: Tuesday 11 June 2019

Developing the perspective of the observer, rather than getting dragged into a mental argument with myself, has been key in finding and maintaining "the gap". The gap is that space between EGO and CONSCiOUSNESS.

JOURNAL ENTRY: Monday 10 June 2019

Fighting depression is insanity, because ultimately I am only ever fighting myself. I lost over and over again, until I learnt to surrender. When I stop fighting I can begin healing and that starts and ends with COMPASSiON.

JOURNAL ENTRY: Wednesday 29 May 2019

It's probably around this point that my enthusiasm starts to wane, I begin to lose focus and then subconsciously start to self-sabotage, so it's interesting that I'm currently looking into why this happens. Hopefully recovery has given me enough courage and strength to persevere, which is what I need in order to make lasting changes and not give up.

JOURNAL ENTRY: Monday 27 May 2019

I have a tendency to start off with a really small, simple concept that could be life changing for me and then I end up multiplying it to the point where I just get lost in the complexity and it stops me from achieving what I originally intended.

JOURNAL ENTRY: Friday 24 May 2019

The culmination of these evens was that I would develop CPTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and whilst I had always suffered from anxiety, this period would maximise that condition into hyper-anxiety or hyper-vigilance.