I've been down this road before.
Fighting depression is insanity, because ultimately I am only ever fighting myself. I lost over and over again, until I learnt to surrender. When I stop fighting I can begin healing and that starts and ends with COMPASSiON.
I've learnt that you can't run from depression or anxiety. The answer is to stop and embrace your BEiNG with compassion and empathy.
I think my OCD manifested after we moved from Northampton to London, as I don't recall having any obsessive thoughts or compulsive behaviours before that time period. That said, I haven't gone that far back with my writing yet, so maybe I'll uncover something when I do.
It's probably around this point that my enthusiasm starts to wane, I begin to lose focus and then subconsciously start to self-sabotage, so it's interesting that I'm currently looking into why this happens. Hopefully recovery has given me enough courage and strength to persevere, which is what I need in order to make lasting changes and not give up.
I have a tendency to start off with a really small, simple concept that could be life changing for me and then I end up multiplying it to the point where I just get lost in the complexity and it stops me from achieving what I originally intended.
When I have faith and trust in the universe, everything becomes that little bit easier.
I'm back in my box again and I don't know how to get out of it.
There is nothing to fear in solitude. I may feel alone, but I never am.
I'm starting to believe that I'm not crazy. It's the world that's gone mad!